Don't get high on this Cocktail

Okay, I know I didn’t post any movie yesterday. But today, I’ll tell you about a movie that you shouldn’t watch – Cocktail. I saw it the other day and by the end of it, I’d pulled out most of my hair. I’m glad that atleast I didn’t waste my money watching it at a theatre (Piracy zindabad!).

The movie consists of three characters:

1.       Good Girl (Meera/Diana Penty) – You know she’s good coz she doesn’t drink and prays regularly. (That’s what the film says)

2.       Bad Girl (Veronica/Deepika Padukone) – She’s the bad one coz she parties, gets drunk. (The film says this as well. And also tries to tell you why she’s so. Troubled childhood and all)

3.       Loser boy (Gautam/Saif Ali Khan) – One look at him and you know he’s a jerk. (Now, I’m saying this!)

Good girl is married to bad boy (Randeep Hooda) who takes all her money and throws her out on the street. Bad girl invites good girl to stay over in her house. A few days later, loser boy also joins them in the house. Loser boy and bad girl hook up. To take the story from here, Loser boy’s Punjabi mummy (Dimple Kapadia) enters the picture along with his cute uncle (Boman Irani). Oh! Did I mention the story is set in London? Don’t ask me why. It wouldn’t have made any difference if it were set here. But looks like they had a lot of money to splurge.

Coming back to the story, Punjabi mummy is haath dho ke picche after loser boy to get married. Loser boy panics and tells her that he loves the good girl. An excellent choice since mummy would never approve of the bad girl. So loser boy and good girl pretend to be in love and nautanki karte karte, end up falling in love (Blah). But surprise surprise! Bad girl also falls for loser boy (Seriously?). Good girl being the good girl is willing to step aside. And bad girl is also willing to change into sati-savitri for the mummy. So now what does loser boy do? Of course he marries the good girl (It’s a Hindi film, duh!). And they all live happily ever after.

Moral of the story: To get married, you have to be a good girl. Even if its loser boy who doesn’t deserve you at all, YOU have to be a good girl. Drinking and partying is a no-no. Wearing short dresses is a taboo. You may be willing to turn into sati savitri but it’d be too late by then.

Ms. Winfrey's Desi Yatra

A few years ago, Shabana Azmi had stated in one of her interviews that Americans are ignorant. After watching Oprah’s Next Chapter: India on TLC, I couldn’t have agreed more with Azmi’s statement. For them, India still remains the land of snake charmers. Look at any Hollywood movie on India – right from City Of Joy to Slumdog Millionaire, they just don’t seem to get past the slums here.

Ms. Winfrey was no exception. At the very beginning of the episode, she went to one of Mumbai’s slums with Gregory David Roberts (yeah, the Shantaram guy). There she met a family of five who lived in a hundred square feet area and asked them idiotic questions like how can five of them live in such a small, dingy place, if they were ‘happy and satisfied’, which made the family’s patriarch shed a few tears. She was astonished to see that there was no shower in the bathroom and even more, on learning how their clothes fit into one small shelf. I noticed a mammoth LCD TV in the house, which I suppose Ms. Winfrey chose to ignore so as not to tamper with the emotional quotient of the show.

Next up, she visited a (rich) joint family (where she made a complete fool of herself). She remarked how Indian women have to live with their mother-in-law and their extended families all their life. And the ultimate line came when she was served food (in a silver thali) – “I hear some people in India STILL eat with their hands”. (Ahem. Okay. So how do they eat pizzas, tacos, and nachos in your country Ms. Winfrey?)

In the next episode, Ms.Winfrey plans on visiting the Taj Mahal. How typical for a foreigner (Or even Indians. C’mon! What’s the big deal with that place? Its just an oversized white tomb. Khaiir, chodo). And as much as I want not to see it, I know I’ll end up watching it (!) in the hope that she would probably have to say something more sensible this time.

Song Of The Week

Nothing like a good song from Aandhi to unwind after a long day. Song for the week is Is Mod Se Jaate Hain. Now if I start raving and ranting about Aandhi’s music, I won’t stop really stop! Its really difficult for me to keep this post short, but I’ll try my best.

Aandhi was about a husband and wife who meet after 9 years of separation. The song is used in a flashback in the film. As a kid, I could not make anything out of the song. It was only that I saw the film (and grew up a bit) that I could comprehend it. The best part of the song is the alaap at the beginning. Lata Mangeshkar’s honey dipped voice churning out the perfect sur (and look at Suchitra Sen! As beautiful as ever). R.D.Burman excels at it once again. And Gulzar. What do I say? There was and there’ll never be another one like him.

After the song was composed, Gulzar looked at Pancham who was deep in thoughts. Suddenly, he asked Gulzar, “What is ‘Nasheman’?” He thought it referred to some place where the road leads to. Even when the song was being shot, Sanjeev Kumar had the same question! So for all those who didn’t know, nasheman means ghosla or a nest.

* Aandhi ki tarah udkar ek raah guzarti hai

Sharmaati hui koi kadmon se utarti hai

Inn reshmi rahon mein ik raah to woh hogi

Tum tak jo pahunchti hai, is mod se jaate hain *

Song: Is Mod Se Jaate Hain

Film: Aandhi

Music: R.D.Burman

Lyrics: Gulzar

Vocals: Lata Mangeshkar, Kishore Kumar

Movie Recommendation - Anand

Cast: Rajesh Khanna, Amitabh Bachchan, Ramesh Deo, Seema Deo, Sumita Sanyal, Johnny Walker.

Release Year: 1971.

Director: Hrishikesh Mukherjee.

Movie for the week is Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s multiple award-winning Anand. Not because Rajesh Khanna passed away. This was anyway going to be this week’s movie coz it’s the only one I’ve seen since last Friday. At the outset, let me warn you that this is not one of my favourites. I usually love Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s films. This one, I like. But given a choice between Anand and Mili (another Hrishida classic), I’d choose the latter. The story is vaguely similar. Only a terminally-ill Rajesh Khanna is replaced by Jaya Bachchan, which makes it a far more endearing watch.

Dr. Bhaskar Banerjee (Amitabh Bachchan) is a no-nonsense physician with a melancholic approach to life. Dr. Prakash (Ramesh Deo), his senior introduces him to Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna), a jovial, terminally-ill patient, who doesn’t have a lot of time to live. Anand decides to stay with Bhaskar instead of the hospital. The story revolves on how Anand spreads happiness in the lives of the people around him, including Bhaskar, who learns to appreciate life in all its colours.

Rajesh Khanna as Anand is apt. He plays the jolly, ever-energetic (and sometimes over the top) character to perfection. A similar version of the character has been played by Khanna (albeit a lot better) in Bawarchi as well. However, the best part of the movie is Amitabh Bachchan. Its so heartening to see him play a lanky Bhaskar. More over the angry young man, I love to see him in such roles. Characters that he played in Hrishikesh Mukherjee movies are so real and affable than the ones in his masala films. 

A review of Anand cannot be complete without its music. Salil Chaudhary’s elevating compositions accompanied by powerful lyrics by Yogesh and Gulzar resulted in chartbusters like Zindagi Kaisi Hai Paheli,  Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaaye, Maine Tere Liye Hi Saat Rang Ke Sapne and Na Jiyaa Lage Na.

How much you’ll love this movie depends on how much you can relate to Anand’s character. Although a one-time-watch wouldn’t be a waste for sure.

RIP Rajesh Khanna

Growing up in a house where your parents are diehard Rajesh Khanna fans, watching his movies was always a compulsion, whenever they were aired on TV. My mom would tell me how girls were crazy about him. My dad would tell me how he bunked school to watch his movies. As a kid, I was bored of them. But as I grew up, I fell in love with the characters he played; and more or less, the actor who played them. It was then that I understood why the man had such a huge fan following, why he was the country’s first ‘Superstar’.

As I came home today, I saw my mom glued to the television. I also know my dad would be sitting in his office, heartbroken. That when he comes home, he’d probably want to watch Anand or Amar Prem. That the first thing he’ll do when he gets into the car is play a Rajesh Khanna song. Why only him? I’m sure that there are millions around the world who’ll do that today. There is a huge list playing in my head as well. Kora Kaagaz, Zindagi Ek Safar, Pyar Diwana Hota Hai, Chingaari Koi Bhadke and many more. He is responsible for immortalizing some of Kishore Kumar’s finest songs.

May your soul rest in peace Mr. Khanna. And Thank You. For Amar Prem, Bawarchi, Aradhana, Anand, Haathi Mere Saathi, Safar, and many more.

Call Me The 'S' Word

I will wear a short dress.

As short as I want.

I’m sure its length will be larger,

Than your sick mind.

Call me a slut if you want to.

I don’t care.

I will walk out of the house,

Alone after 7.

Go to a pub,

Or wherever.

Call me a slut if you want to.

I don’t care.

I will order a Bloody Mary.

Sit there and drink.

You expect me to get high?

That ain’t gonna happen.

Call me a slut if you want to.

I don’t care.

I will notice your leeching eye

Ogling at me.

Try and make a pass.

And a blow will land on that face.

Call me a slut if you want to.

I don’t care.

Song Of The Week

A song that has been playing in my head since Wednesday – Aajkal Paon Zameen Par from Ghar. Now now, I won’t tell why! This song correctly described my state of being on cloud nine. Just listening to it makes me feel good. Makes me want to frolic/dance around in slow motion! Or do a Sridevi in the rains (No chiffon saree though. A kurta and denims work well too).

The lyrics are as good as they can get. If you listen to them carefully, you’ll realize how beautifully they express the feeling of being in love. Rather, madly in love. The soundtrack of this film also has other classics like Aapki Aankhon Mein Kuch and Tere Bina Jiya Jaye Na. I am so in awe of Gulzar saab. He weaves magic with his pen. And so does Pancham with his music. The melody in this song is simply stunning. And then Lata Mangeshkar adds the chaar chaand with her voice! The outcome is so beautiful that I’d almost imagined how this song must’ve been picturised. And then when I saw the film, it was very similar to what I’d imagined. J

* Jab bhi thamaa hai tera haath toh yeh dekha hai

Log kehte hai ki bass haath ki rekha hai

Humne dekha hai taqdeero ko,

Judte hue! *

Song: Aajkal Paon Zameen Par

Film: Ghar

Music: R.D.Burman

Lyrics: Gulzar

Vocals: Lata Mangeshkar

Main Aur Mere Obsessions

I have a new obsession. Well, not really new. Lets say it has resurfaced. I call it obsession because I know it’ll die away in a few months, like the others, and then I’ll have something else to drool over. I’m quite like a kid when it comes to that. Give me a new toy and I’ll forget the old one. Anyway, the thing I’m talking about is Gold. Yeah, you heard that! Gold.

I’ve never had a liking for the yellow metal, or jewelry of any kind. But over the past few days, I suddenly find myself drawn towards it. Quite some bad timing considering the price. But maybe it had to do something with my mother showing off her collection to me. (Or maybe because I saw The Italian Job after a long time). I tried on a few things and that felt good! It was almost like that Tanishq ad.

Remember this one? Only, my mother can’t trick me into getting married for the gold! 

 Now I’m in the mood to buy some of the stuff. I might never wear it, but I just want to own some. Maybe a pair of jhumka or something! Just something li’l that I can call my own J

Movie Recommendation - Ijaazat

Cast: Rekha, Naseeruddin Shah, Anuradha Patel.

Release Year: 1987.

Director: Gulzar.

From the numerous reviews that I’d heard/read about this movie, I’d concluded that there is one thing about Ijaazat – you either like it, or you hate it. And after watching it, I fell into the former category. The movie is beautiful, layered and complex.

Mahendra (Naseeruddin Shah) and Sudha (Rekha), an estranged couple run into each other in a railway station’s waiting room on a tempestuous night. Cut away from the world, they revisit their past.

Flashback:  Mahendra is in love with Maya (Anuradha Patel), a feisty girl who doesn’t believe in marriage. When his grandfather (Shammi Kapoor) fixes his wedding with Sudha, Mahendra is unable to tell him about Maya. Maya’s disappearance only adds to his problems. End result – he gets married to Sudha. However, marital bliss is soon disrupted when Maya returns to their life. Mahendra’s uncertainty about his feelings, his unwillingness to let go his past, and Sudha’s growing conflict between being supportive and possessive leads to her walking out on the relationship.

Simply put, Ijaazat is about two people, one night, and a story that unfolds gradually. But it derives its intensity from its story and screenplay, written by the master storyteller, Gulzar. Sudha and Mahendra’s equation from being awkward, to affable, and almost intimate has been beautifully written. Also, something that I always love about Gulzar’s movies is the use of flashbacks. Nobody can weave them as effectively as he does. The story is matched equally by Naseeruddin Shah and Rekha’s performances.

The music is unarguably Pancham’s best, with unforgettable hits like Choti Si Kahaani, Mera Kuch Samaan, and Katra Katra. Asha Bhosle’s voice lingers in your head for a long long time even after the playback’s stopped.

For those looking for a mature love story, Ijaazat is your answer. Here's one of my favourite lines from the movie -


Mahendra: Baarish toh aur badh gayi...lagta nahi aaj thamegi..


Sudha: Baras jayegi toh apne aap tham jayegi. 

A Conversation with Mr.Cloud

Me (Waves frantically): Hey Mister!

Cloud (Perplexed): You talking to me, lady?

Me: Yes…any chances of pouring here? Its almost mid-July.

Cloud: Nope. That’s not on my to-do list. I have to go somewhere else.

Me: Aww, c’mon! You bring in my favourite season. Nothing at all?

Cloud: You’ll have to ask my boss about that.

Me: Who? Indra? Aren’t we doing enough to make him happy? I heard of some yagya happening in the city to please him. I even saw pictures of it in the newspapers.

Cloud: Yeah that’s right. And you burn firewood in it. How do you think he’s gonna be happy with that?

Me (Sheepishly): Ok I know where you’re going with this. Spreading the eco-word, eh?

Cloud (In a raised voice): Its not some funny business lady. You’re the ones who cut trees, you’re the ones who use those vehicles, and you’re the ones who use plastic. And yet, you blame us for not being on time. But there’s nothing we can do about it. Our boss tells us to favour greener places.

Me: So isn’t this city green enough for you?

Cloud: Well, my fraternity is divided on that one. We haven’t reached a consensus as yet.

Me: I know you can convince them and sort things out, right? Besides, the kids love you.

Cloud: Yeah, mostly ‘coz they get to bunk school when they fall sick. But I’m telling you, that’s not my fault. If only somebody told that to their mothers. I always end up bearing the brunt for it. You know how these mothers can be. They just need somebody to put the blame on.

Me: But we are in dire need of rains here. The city is dealing with water shortage problems.

Cloud: From what I know, you guys have four dams to you, right?

Me (Clears throat): Yeah, sort of…

Cloud: See! And yet you… (Sighs). Ok, I’ll see what I can do; but I can’t promise anything. And until I’m not around, why don’t you guys start fixing your roads? Or you’ll hold me responsible for those potholes. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to be somewhere. The press must be dying to cover me. and I like to look good on TV.

Me: So when can I expect you back, with a bang? Err…or should I say, thunder?

Cloud: Ha! Why don’t you ask that to your folks at the Meteorological Department? They seem to know quite a lot on my whereabouts.

Me: Really?

Cloud: Are you kidding me! Those dimwits can never predict my arrival. I’ll come when I have to. As of now, I gotta go. Bye!

Me (Sighs): Yeah, bye. 

The Break-Up Letter

Dear Chocolate,

We need to talk. I know how that sounds. But the time has come for us to part ways. I hate to tell you, but I had this running in my mind over the past few days. My only concern was how you’d react.

You’ve been with me since I was a kid. You’ve been there during the good times, the bad ones too. I never knew how our friendship turned into love. Love so passionate, I could hardly go on a day without you. And how can I forget all the lovely time we’ve spent together? Even when I woke up hungry in the middle of the night, all I had to do was open the fridge; and there you were, all smiles, calling out to me! How could I not give in to the temptation?

But things are different now. They tell me a bit of you is good for the heart. If only my heart would listen to that. On the contrary, I’ve put on quite a few pounds after I’ve been seeing you regularly over the past couple of months. Now now, you’d tell me it doesn’t matter. But dear, I’m neither Nigella Lawson, nor Vidya Balan to carry off those voluptuous curves.

There’s another thing I’ve been wanting to tell you. I met an old friend a couple of days back. You remember Coffee, right? Yeah, you’ve met him a couple of occasions before. The thing is, I’ve grown rather fond of him. Lets not say he’s taken your place, but he’s quite on the way of doing so. You are and will always be my bachpan ka pyaar. But I met this Coffee guy during my turbulent teenage years. Ours was quite an affair, but then I had to let go when I started having sleepless nights. And I am afraid but the fire has been rekindled. Monsoon and he is just the right thing for me.

I hope you find it in you to forgive me.

Yours Unfaithfully,

Ankita.

Song Of The Week

I look out of the window. Its pouring. And the only song that comes to my mind is Rimjhim Gire Saawan. Now there are two versions to this song. One by Kishore Kumar, another by Lata Mangeshkar and both are equally good. But the one I want to post here is Lata Mangeshkar’s, simply because the orchestra and the instruments are more upbeat in this one, and it goes perfectly with my mood today!

R.D.Burman’s music is the highlight of this song. The guitar, violin and the saxophone have been beautifully used. Even the subtle notes following the alaap are so worth listening to. Another thing I love about this song is the way it has been picturised. I mean, look at it! It has been shot like a poem. No matter how cliché it sounds, but yes; monsoons are romantic. All those who complain about traffic jams and potholes during the monsoon have probably never been in love!

*Pehle bhi yun toh barse the baadal,

Pehle bhi yun toh bheega tha aanchal

Abke baras kyoon sajan

Sulag sulag jaaye mann *

Song: Rimjhim Gire Saawan

Film: Manzil

Music: R.D.Burman

Lyrics: Yogesh

Vocals: Lata Mangeshkar

Mandai V/S Malls

A nice trip to Mandai reminds you what veggie shopping is all about. No no, those malls cannot make up for it.

As much as my mother loves it, I’ve somehow always had a problem with malls. To begin with, I have to look for a parking space in some shoddily-lit basement where anyone can stab a person and get away with it. Once I’m inside, the air-conditioner makes me sick and the lighting hurts my eyes. No, really. When I go to the vegetable section, I see discoloured veggies stacked in plastic containers (maybe that’s where ‘oh you look like a vegetable’ comes from). Then I take a bag (yeah, plastic again), fill and weigh veggies on a scale whose display is barely readable. And its not all that fun moving around that stupid, oversized trolley round and round the place, wasting precious time. And I somehow can’t help giving a spiteful look to the person at counter when he removes a plastic bag from his stash (carry your own bags, people). Besides, I end up buying a lot more than what I’d planned on, so where’s my saving buddy?

And look at good ol’ Mandai! The moment I am in, the clatter tells me that I’ve arrived at a ‘market’. After all, what is a market without the hustle and bustle? There, I can pick from heaps of vegetables, nice and fresh. Because I’ve been going there for many years, I know where I can get the best produce. The sellers don’t offer plastic bags willingly; so I make it a point to carry my own. And most importantly, I can bargain. Show me one mall where you can do that!

But with more and more malls coming up at every corner of the road, I wonder if this practice is fast disappearing. I wonder if I’ll wake up to a day where the bhaajiwala at my nukkad will be history. I wonder if my kids will even know what a bhaajiwala is! 

Movie Recommendation - Khubsoorat

Cast: Dina Pathak, Rekha, Ashok Kumar, Rakesh Roshan, Ranjit Chowdhry.

Release Year: 1980.

Director: Hrishikesh Mukherjee.

Movie for this week is Khubsoorat. No, not the Urmila Matondkar-Sanjay Dutt debacle. I am talking about Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s Khubsoorat. Now if I start discussing why I love this movie, a single post wouldn’t suffice!

The story goes like this – Nirmala Gupta (Dina Pathak) is a lady who runs her household with a strict hand. So every family member has to follow a certain code of conduct laid down, such as turning up on time for breakfast, keeping the hall clean, not talking or laughing loudly, etc. Even her husband Dwarka Prasad Gupta (Ashok Kumar) is not spared from her set of laws.

Nirmala Gupta’s second son is married to Anju, who comes from a family where almost no rules are followed. So when her sister Manju (Rekha) comes over to stay for a few days, she makes it her agenda to change the environment in the house. Manju begins by getting Nirmala Gupta’s fourth son, Jagan (Ranjit Chowdhry) on her side. She then convinces his brothers and their wives that its not all that bad to break rules and follow your heart once in a while. Soon, card games, song and dance routines start creeping into the Gupta household, albeit when Nirmala is not around. However, all hell breaks loose when Nirmala walks in on one of the Nirmal Anand program!

Khubsoorat is undoubtedly Rekha’s best work, with Ijaazat coming a close second. Her portrayal of the bubbly, energetic Manju is spot on. Dina Pathak rules the movie, to say the least. The rest of the cast is equally good in their roles, as in every Hrishida movie. R.D.Burman’s music and Gulzar’s words never fail at entertaining, with songs like Piya Bawri, Saare Niyam Tod Do. But my favourite is Sun Sun Sun Didi, where Manju is describing the ‘qualities’ of the prospective groom. The lyrics always make me chuckle. And of course, Qayda Qayda. Now how many of you knew that Rekha has sung this song? J

Gulzar’s dialogues are beyond comparison. Anything I say wouldn’t correctly express what they are. Whether it is the Kafiya or the Rekha-Dina Pathak confrontations; all so vividly written. Who else can think of writing politics and food in rhyme?! And the Apple Kheer scene is unforgettable!

If you want to know what awesomeness is, go watch Khubsoorat!

Random Question

Why don't they have a 'No Tears Shampoo' for adults?

Song Of The Week

I always feel Madan Mohan is one composer who never got his due. The man who created songs like Tu Jahan Jahan Chalega, Dil Dhoondta Hai or Lag Ja Gale was somehow never appreciated enough by the audience. Sad.

Another gem of a song by the man is Aapki Nazron Ne Samjha from Anpadh. The lyrics, penned by Raja Mehdi Ali Khan may seem a bit orthodox; but once you get past them, the music is every bit charming. And Lata Mangeshkar’s voice succeeds (and how!) at hitting even the most difficult notes in the song with such ease…like makkhan I would say!

An interesting bit of trivia – a song was rehearsed with the musicians and Lata Mangeshkar when the lyricist Raja Mehdi Ali Khan arrived at the studio and casually said that he had just written a new song. When Madan Mohan heard the lyrics, he felt that the words were more suited for the situation than what was being recorded. So a tune for the song was created right there, in no time! And Lata Mangeshkar sang this song instead of the original! It is also said that when Naushad heard the song, he’d said to Madan Mohan that he was ready to give away all his compositions for this song in return!

*Aapki manzil hoon main, meri manzil aap hai

Kyuu main toofan se darru, mera saahil aap hai

Koi toofanon sekeh de, miil gaya saahil mujhe *

Song: Aapki Nazron Ne Samjha

Film: Anpadh

Music: Madan Mohan

Lyrics: Raja Mehdi Ali Khan

Vocals: Lata Mangeshkar